Thursday, February 21, 2008

And on the Eighth Day

God created shopping malls and discount stores named Target and big box retailers named Old Navy. And they shall all be in one place, and this place shall be good. Do not let cold temperatures keep you away, lest you become insane staying cooped up inside without any retail interaction. Drive forth to this place today, and find great sales. Let thy children play in the germ-infested play area and all will be happy. Eat and drink from thy offerings, for cookies and Starbucks is like manna from heaven. Gaze upon divine stores such as Pottery Barn and Williams Sonoma, but do not enter as the devil has had his hand in pricing at these stores. Pray for those poor souls who do not have access to such places, thinking of them as you walk around in the climate controlled, sensory overloaded, money draining place that is Jordan Creek Mall and Shopping Area.


Teri said...

Oh man, you're good. This shall be my mantra.

the driftwood collector said...

Thanks be to God! ;)