Sunday, April 27, 2008

Have you seen this cat?


If seen, please kill upon sight. He is wanted for many a bad deed and has reached the end of his nine lives. If you care to rescue him and take him on as your own, do so at your own risk.

As if I don't have enough shit to clean, he has to create more. Believe me, cleaning rancid smelling ass pee off my exersaucer was not my idea of a fun afternoon. Kitty, you've about peed on your last box. I was mad about you peeing/spraying our Christmas tree box but I was slowing getting over it. I'm sure there is more I haven't found yet. Last week I had to throw out a box of perfectly good, new feeding pump bags which I had intended to donate to some child who needs them. I ended up donating them to our local garbage.

Dh better hurry home or bring one of the Colorado kitties home with him. His may not be around much longer.

Damn cat!

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Dumb Ass of the Year Award

That would belong to me, thank you very much. I have done some pretty stupid things in my life, and this one has to be in the running for #1 dipshit move. I really don't want to go into details. I was trying to do a good thing, honestly. And then I forgot about it. Lesson learned the (very) hard way.

Let's look for the bright side of things, shall we? I think its supposed to make me feel better, but doesn't help all that much:
  • Its a good thing I have awesome parents. They are good at helping out at a moment's notice. See why we can't move? I need them around.
  • Its a good thing dh was out of town. Otherwise I would not be around to write this. Hopefully being 600 miles or so away is enough of a buffer and a good day of golf tomorrow may help him forget all about it. Yeah right.
  • Its a good thing part of our basement is still unfinished. Yea for being too poor to finish it off right away!
  • Its a good thing we have a wet/dry vacuum, a fan, and a dehumidifier.
  • I needed to go through some toys and throw things out anyway.

My dh just doesn't understand how someone so smart (he never fails to remind me that somehow I managed to get a master's degree) can be so dumb. Like I said, I've done some dumb things in my life. That includes running over a cement parking block and tearing out the breaklines in my car once (in my defence, the block was covered in snow). I rear-ended a guy once. I thought I had latched a window after cleaning it, but it blew down and broke. The list goes on and on.

I will admit to my own stupidity, but I also claim bad luck seems to hang around me. I don't know what it is about me, but things just seem to break if I look at them wrong. My cell phone once totally died after I plugged it into my car charger. I was driving dh's truck this winter and the windsheild cracked--no rock hitting it or anything. I look down at the cell phone today and the face plate is cracked. In my care my daughter broke her collarbone and I once thought she swallowed a barette (never showed up on x-ray). I ran over a screw with our van and we have a bum tire. At one point (I have abosolutely no clue where) I ran over some paint and got paint all around the wheel wells of our new van. Again, the list goes on and on.

How can this be? Let me tell you, its great for the self-esteem (not). I had to be consoled by my 5 year-old giving me a hug and patting my back telling me, "Its okay mommy, it was just an accident. You didn't mean for it to happen." Thanks, sweetie. And my mom, bless her heart, tried to make me feel better by telling me she does dumb things too. Like throwing away 4 checks for about $3 a piece. "See?", she tells me. Thanks mom, but I only wish I threw away a few checks. It would've been a lot less work and less money down the drain (no pun intended).

Really, I don't need sleep

Sleep has been hard to come by these days. See, honey? We can't live (or at least sleep) without you here. But then again, when you are here, you can't sleep (just a minor case of insomnia caused by stress).

Anyway, Thursday night we had some wicked thunderstorms roll through. All night long. EE was up a little after 1am because "my tummy hurts". So onto our floor she went, a special treat since daddy was gone. Then soon after came the loud thunderboomers, so she would've been up anyway. And then LC starts to cry hysterically, so into my bed she goes. Again, because daddy was gone. We were in and out of bed quite a few times because a new line of storms would roll through about every 45 minutes. I don't have our weather radio set up yet, so I would haul everyone downstairs to watch the radar and make sure we weren't going to be hit by a giant tornado and then tell everyone to go back to sleep. That's so easy when the winds are blowing at about 40 mph and for some reason paper shades over the windows don't seem to keep the bright flashes of lightning out. I think we all fell asleep for the night (morning) around 6 am.

Everyone was up in time for preschool, yet just a tad bit crabby. We had a playdate that had been set up for awhile, so one of EE's preschool friends came over for lunch along with his two younger sisters. EE did pretty well (she tends to be a little, shall we say, bossy, at times) but LC was having a hard time. By the time they left it was about 1 hr past nap time with no routine what-so-ever. So she was a bear cat to get down for nap.

LC is our good child when it comes to sleeping. Read her a book, put her in bed, and see her in the morning. End of story. Just the other day dh mentioned how "easy" she was--way to go, dummy, you jinxed it. Tonight she was up crying about 10 minutes after going to bed. Got her out, read another book, back to bed. Hysterical crying 5 minutes later. I came in and told her that would not fly with me, see ya in the morning, toots. Haven't heard a peep from her yet.

So you think I should get a nice night of uninterrupted sleep, right? Bed to myself, sleeping children. Oh, no. The sump pump alarm decides to go off. At 5 am . Or at least that is when my sleeping brain recognized that sound isn't normal--it was probably going off for awhile. What do you do when you are up at 5 am? Check you e-mail, do a quick blog stalk, and write a scintillating entry on your own blog.

Get home soon, honey. I need some sleep.

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Secrets Part Two

Otherwise known as Dirty Little Secrets. I checked out a book from the library called Dirty Little Secrets from Otherwise Perfect Moms by Trisha Ashworth and Amy Nobile. It is basically a companion book to I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids by the same authors with little quotes in it from real life moms. Some of them are more relate-able than others, but here are a few good ones:

"Some nights when my husband and I go to bed, I roll over and 'play dead.' All I can think is 'I just can't handle it if one more person pokes me today'."

"Planning dinner usually throws me over the edge. One night I was stressing out and my four-year-old son looked up at me and said 'Just order a effing pizza!" (Insert appropriate swear word)

"I skip whole chunks of my younger daughter's bedtime stories. Poor thing really can't tell the difference." (Until they start to read, then they call you out like EE will)

"I tell my husband I am going potty but actually lock myself in the bathroom, sit on the edge of the tub, and read People" (For me I usually stay in long enough to finish a chapter or two of whatever book I'm reading)

"My husband thinks I'm sad when he goes on business trips, but secretly I'm happy that my 'third child' is out of the house."

So dh was browsing through the book and came across that last quote and asked if that was really true. Yup, for the most part. We'll see since he is gone for 5 days how long I last without him. Props to Jenn for doing the single mother thing for the past 6 weeks (she also tells some of her other dirty little secrets of motherhood). I will say that we have had plenty of family together time in the past two months, so I hope he has a good time on his trip. He is flying to Denver to have a 3-hr interview and then 3 days to play with his brother (and wife, although I'm sure G won't be out on the golf course with them). Free trip to Denver, who could pass that up?

And for those who are on the edge of their seats waiting for the correct trivia questions:
  • 50 points was the highest point value for skee ball (we guessed 100, oops)
  • Like Cristin said, Ohio was where "Family Ties" was. "The Waltons" took place in Virginia (NOT West Virginia like we said)
  • The Blue Meanies were the villains in Yellow Submarine. A little before my time.
  • If you visit Adventureland in Iowa, you may meet Bernie Bernard who is their dog mascot. Now I know.
  • Jack Torrence was the psycho in "The Shining". Like I said, as soon as we turned in our answer sheet dh and I started talking about the movie and came up with it. Now just pretend you are a psychic boy and talk to your bending finger and say "Tommy's not here, Mrs. Torrence" (or something along those lines as well as "Redrum, redrum!")

Thanks for playing!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008


I'm pretty good at keeping secrets. There are a few things I may not have told dh over the past 15 years. They aren't secrets, exactly, but maybe just things I've forgotten to tell him. Minor details.

For a few months now I knew another secret and was very good at keeping it, because it wasn't mine to tell. Sometimes jems like these slip out--my sisters and I sometimes try to one-up each other by telling our parents something they may not know. Like when I told my dad last week that my BIL (kdotp's hubbie) is being inducted into his college athletic hall of fame. Wasn't supposed to share that one. Oops.

The thing about this last secret I had was that kdopt (the owner of said secret) didn't know I knew (confused yet?). I finally let her know I knew while IM'ing her one day. And I think it was better for both of us that I knew so she had someone to talk to about it.

So her secret is one that you can't keep secret for long when you are seeing people face to face and you may be about 16 weeks pg. Both of my sisters, two husbands, and my parents were all getting together on Saturday. I kept telling kdotp that she had better tell or our other sister was going to be all annoying by saying things like "Are you pregnant?" So sure enough, we had been together about 20 minutes and Other Sister says to me, "Are those maternity jeans kdotp is wearing?" Of course I played dumb because I wasn't going to be the one to spoil the fun. So once we are all at a table together Other Sister says something to kdotp and hubbie. And then my Dad gives them congrats, so they start talking about being pg. Dad was congratulating hubbie on his sports thing and was clueless about the pg until they started talking about it. Oh well, the cat's out of the bag now.

So I get to be an aunt again this fall. We pray that things continue to go well with the pregnancy. Its been different this time than last time, so many are predicting a girl--we'll go with that for now. Someone else in our family has to have girls other than me!

The reason we all got together was to go to a trivia event. We were a hard-core team, there to win. Everyone else was there mainly for the free beer. We ended up about 5 points out of the lead, but still had fun. Here is your challenge: without doing any googling, calling friends, or using any other means of "cheating" see if you know the answer to any of these questions:

  • In the original skee ball game, what was the highest point value?
  • What state did the TV show "Family Ties" take place? What about "The Waltons"?
  • In the Beetles' "Yellow Submarine" movie, what were the villains called who invaded the sub?
  • Adventureland is the one and only theme park in Iowa. The official mascot of Adventureland is a dog--what is his name? (Good luck with that, I grew up here and used to go every year and we had no clue!)
  • What is the full name of Jack Nicholson's character in "The Shining"? (We did come up with it as soon as we turned in our answer sheet)

I still owe Jenn M a prize from my last challenge, so don't get your hopes up if you actually know the answer. I'll try to figure out something.

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Rainy Days

It has rained all day long for the past two days. On Thursday I told dh "This is going to be one of those days where they can watch all the TV and movies they want." Then he comes back with, "C'mom, you are supposed to do art projects and have a picnic inside and all sorts of other fun things." Gee, thanks for the guilt. Not only am I a lazy mommy, I'm an uncreative mommy at that. Let's see him do a few of those things!

I sorta met him halfway. I pulled out the dreaded "p" activity . . . playdough. They played playdough while I cleaned the rest of the house--makes sense, doesn't it? I put a vinyl tablecloth down on the dining room floor and then their picnic table on top of that and they made cookies for Santa for about 58 minutes. I have pictures of the aftermath, but I don't have them uploaded yet.

Watching them play with playdough is difficult. Not because the tiny pieces get drug everywhere--I'm sure we'll find playdough smushed into the carpet somewhere. No, its because its hard for me to watch them mix the colors (take deep breaths, it will be fine). I just have this thing about putting things back the way they were. Once you give them 6 different colors of playdough, there ain't no getting them back into the tubs in their virgin state. Why does that matter? It doesn't--to them. For me it is an exercise to help overcome some small bit of OCD that I have.

One way I handle it is to buy the mini tubs of playdough on clearance after holidays. The package I pulled out had been sitting in my cupboard since about December 27th. I figured each container cost me about 10 cents, so if they ruin it I'm not out much. Now we have 19 more pristine containers to bring out at other times throughout the year.

A little word about playdough: I prefer the homemade stuff. I used to make it every week when I was working (what a hard job, huh? play with playdough everyday). I was a pro. I could make any color of the rainbow. I added sprinkles to make it sparkly. I added things to make it smell good like cinnamon or cocoa. I was the Playdough Queen. Now I have been reduced to giving my kids the store bought stuff. Where did I go wrong?

As I was planning this post, it was going to include pictures of our playdough fun and the recipe for homemade playdough for good mommies to make. That will all have to come in the playdough addendum.

And for the picnic? The girls did eat lunch (and supper and breakfast the following day) at their picnic table. They also spent all day on Friday in their pj's. Gotta love rainy days!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Evil People

We all know a few evil people, right? It could be the neighbors who let their dogs poop in our yard (sorry dog lovers, its happened at three different places we've lived and really pisses dh off) or your MIL (not speaking from experience, I just know some people have evil MIL's). In any case we've all run across some unethical bastards in our lives.

Case in point--I know I've talked about this before, but just over 5 years ago dh was somewhat happily working away in Minnesota. We had a nice house, I had a job, we had a baby on the way, and we loved where we lived. Dh had a group of guys from work who all played softball together in the spring and fall, they had poker nights, they had a golf league--there were fun things to do.

So one day dh goes into work and gets pulled into someone's office. Sitting across the table from his was a friendly HR guy (read friendly with dripping sarcasm). "Sorry, John, we have to let you go. The company is over budget and we have to make cuts. Here is a sucky severance package. Best of luck" I'd be surprised if he didn't make a slight kicking motion towards dh while showing him the door. All this came out of the blue for no real reason other than budget cuts.

The place where he worked was over budget and needed to make some cuts. Not so surprising, it happens to a lot of companies. Want to know why this particular company needed to do it? Because it turns out that the friendly HR guy was embezzling money from the company. Yeah, like to the tune of $500K or so. That jerk sat there and fired innocent people to help cut money out of the budget while he was funneling it away for his own use. EVIL! Supposedly he and his wife went to jail for the offense. This happened a few months after dh was let go.

To get the money, this guy and his wife had created multiple fake recruiting firms and would send them invoices for the company to pay them. It is not unusual for big companies like this to hire multiple recruiting firms to help fill open positions, so they didn't figure something was going on.

Fast forward 5 years. The company he was let go from is making billions of dollars (yes, seriously billions)--believe me, they more than made up for the money lost both by the stealing and dh's job/benefits. Drop in the bucket. And the company has a position advertised which is identical to what dh left. Too bad he has more experience and is over qualified for that position now.

Dh had been contacted dozens of recruiters--the e-mail inbox is full of mail from recruiters all over the country. One of the names looked familiar and dh says that is because it happens to be the same name as our friendly HR guy from 5 years ago. Coincidence? I think not. Same name, working in recruiting, in the city where we left. Nice.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

I'm It!

I've been tagged--not once, but twice. So I guess I had better do my thing.

Here are the rules:
1. Link to your tagger and post these rules on your blog.
2. Share seven facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag seven people at the end of your post by leaving their names as well as links to their blogs.
Lastly- Let them know they are tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Alrighty, let's see what I can come up with.

  • Dh and I found some things in common when we first started dating. Aside from the obvious (played the same instrument in band, owned the same color car at one time) we both had a set of grandparents named Ed and Emma (I know, I already mentioned that fact) and the last 4 digits of our childhood phone numbers were the same--3975. Oooo, freaky, eh?
  • I can pick things up with my toes.
  • I spent 6 weeks in Hawaii as a nanny one summer. It was horrible. Awful. Free airfare to Hawaii, lived on the beach, my own room with private lanai (that's Hawaiian for balcony, you land lovers), pool in the back yard, on the ocean, two days off a week. I don't know how I ever lived through it. (Hope you can interpret the sarcasm there)
  • I've never been drunk. Honest.
  • I did musicals in high school. I was a nun and a horny Scottish lassie stuck in a time warp. Not at the same time. (Bonus if you guess which musicals--no cheating, kdotp since you already know).
  • I could sing you the words of every song in Grease 2.
  • I had a crush on the same boy from 2nd grade until . . . . hmm, last week? Just kidding. But it was a long time. And guess what? He happens to live in the same school district we do and has a daughter going to kindergarten with Emma.

I really am this boring. I need to get a secret tattoo or something. And apparently I need to get some online friends because the only ones I know have either tagged me or been tagged, and I don't think Jenn M would be happy if I listed all her posse whom I blog stalk. I let her tag them for real if she wants.

I really am that person who always ends a chain. Never received those dish towels or stickers or flip flops I was supposed to send? That's because I never sent the stupid letters out. So here the tag game ends with me. But I will list a few friends whom I think should start their own blogs. So ladies, consider yourself tagged and get to work!

1. My friend Robyn. Her life at times is shit you can't make up. And she has 5 kids (blended family). And many cats (a few of which she has run over by accident, then spends hundreds of dollars on them at the vet even though they are farm cats). And runs a cool store. And loves to shop.

2. My SIL Glenda. She could call hers "Adventures With Glenda" or something catchy like that. She is the type of person who locks her keys in the car (multiple times), burns non-food items in the oven, and has had to break into her own house. C'mom, G, get typing!

3. My sis Kari. I know she has live journal which is mostly private because she doesn't want me reading about her life, but she could use a blog as a photography journal or something. If she would use that fancy schmancy camera she got for her birthday/Christmas and make her dreams of becoming a photographer come true.

Wow, so not only can I not think of anyone online whom I can tag, I can only think of 3 people IRL. What a loser I am!

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Rambling Sunday

I've been up for two hours now and its not even 9am. Children should not be allowed to wake up before 7am--or 7:30am or even 8am would be better. At least I don't have any competition for the computer at this hour.

Well, yesterday didn't turn out to be half-bad. Yes, it was butt-ass cold out. By that I mean my ass was cold the entire day--those canvas fold-up chairs should be fleece lined. EE sported her snow pants, which helped keep her warm and LC spent most of the time either on my lap or in the stroller covered with blankets. The parade was okay, they did lose quite a few participants because of the cold. It was the oddest thing--nobody was going for the candy. People were hurling it out by the handful and people (including all the kids) would just watch as it fell at their feet. Maybe they were too damn cold to reach down and grab it, or they new it was so cold that it would break their teeth. After the parade it looked like a cargo plane carrying Tootsie Rolls lost its contents over campus. We still came home with a bag full of candy, frisbees, t-shirts, and other assorted "goodies" we picked up at the booths (like a packet of tomato seeds--EE thinks she is going to plant them after her other preschool planting died).

Anyone else going to miss their dh today? Mine will be lost in the world of golf as the last day of the Masters is upon us. Last year he was able to go to a practice round before the tournament started and still remembers it fondly. Remember the question about the new pic on the blog? It is one he took at Augusta last year. He has given me the challenge of somehow figuring out a way for him to play the course as a 40th birthday present. Oookaay. Let's see: private course, impossible to get on. Hmmm. Don't think that will be happening, honey, unless I somehow make friends with someone in the next 5 years whose dh is a member of Augusta. Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, didn't think so.

Saturday, April 12, 2008


Crazy is this freakin' weather. Woke up to a nice blanket of snow on the ground, 33 degree temps, and 15-25 mph winds which give us a windchill of 20 degrees. On April 12th.

Crazy is my dh playing in an alumni pep band in a parade today. He gets to pretent to play his sax with frozen fingers in 20 degree weather. He gets to sit on a hayrack for 1 hr before the parade starts and all through the parade, which usually takes a good 1 hr 45 min to 2 hrs.

Crazy is me for thinking that I am going to take two little girls and my mom to said parade. Everyone will have on minimum of 4 layers under their coats. I'll probably even throw in the snowpants to have along. So we are dragging 5 blankets, 2 chairs, 2 pair snowpants, and 1 thermos full of hot chocolate to sit outside for awhile to watch a parade. Sound like fun?

Crazy is me (yet again) for thinking this will be fun. Who the hell is going to be in the parade? I know I would've backed out in this weather. Those girls from the gymnastics school that usually cartwheel through the parade route? Don't think so. People throwing out lots of candy and handing out good stuff like bananas, free car washes, and yard sticks? They gotta be crazy, too.

Its all in the name of tradition. Dh was first in this parade probably his freshman year in college, so its been at least 16 years that we have been to the parade (or at least thought about it; some years we were too far away). Usually after the parade there are all sorts of fun activities on campus that seemed lame when we were in college, but now that we have offspring are a lot more fun. Almost every group on campus has some sort of display or demonstration. There is usually food galore, face tatoos, free junk, and yummy ice cream. Usually the temperature is above 20 degrees. I have pictures from my first time I went--I was in shorts, a t-shirt, and sporting a nice sunburn from sitting outside for 4 hrs. Crazy.

Friday, April 11, 2008

It was bound to happen

We escaped it in preschool somehow, but now in kindergarten, it will hit us hard. Hopefully we haven't cursed our child and she can rise above it and not blog about it in 30 years about how much she hates her parents for doing it to her.

EE has a popular name. A very popular name. It starts with E and rhymes with Bemma. In 2003, the year in which she was born, it was the #1 girls name--I printed that fact out to put in her baby book.

When we walked in the door to kindergarten round-up last night, the secretary was asking the kids' names so she could direct us to the right group. When EE said her name, the secretary said, "Oh, E__a Buttery?" No, not us. She could've gone through three more E's before our name came up. That's right, in a class of 90 kids, there are 5 girls named Emma. That's 5% of the class.

Now, you may be asking yourself, "Why did you give your child a popular name if you didn't want this to happen to her?" Well, you see, for us it is a family name. The name has been on both sides of the family for over 100 years. My dad's parents were Ed and Emma. MIL's parents were Ed and Emma. How could you not use this lovely family name? I have very fond memories of my Grandma Emma who was a German farm woman born in the early 1900's. She could sew anything and made 100's of quilts in her life. She made awesome strawberry jam. There were always cookies and ice cream at her house. She was soft-spoken, but had a presence about her. Dh's Grandma Emma is still alive, although I don't think Emma has had the chance to meet her. Our E has a special piece of jewelry coming to her from her namesakes once she is old enough to appreciate them. From my Grandma, she will get her beautiful engagement ring which my aunt passed down to her. From dh's Grandma, she will get a necklace that her husband bought her while serving overseas in WWII. Our E is reminded all the time who she is named for and why. We hope this legacy will be stronger than any bad feelings she has about being one of 5 in the same class.

I will say that I screamed at the TV when Rachel from Friends named her baby Emma soon before our baby was due. We knew that was a front-runner for our girl's name and knew what that meant--many people would follow in her footsteps. Why, oh why, couldn't she have chosen Ruth (her other name she talked about on the show)? I've actually had morons ask me if I named my child after Friends. Um, no.

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

I've got nothing

No humorous anecdotes, no witty observations, no profound pondering. Not much is going on around here, at least nothing blog-worthy. My life is boring right now, with a capital "B".

Let's take a quick inventory with what is up with everyone in our household:

Dh--job interview this afternoon that he just left for. I'm not sure how jazzed he is about it, hasn't really said much--but eh, its a job. I didn't particularly care for the posted starting salary if you ask me. :P He's still getting lots of action--job-wise that is, he'll tell you not so much in other arenas--but people can't figure out when he says he's looking in Iowa, that means he'd prefer the job to be in Iowa. Not Illinois, not Kentucky, and certainly not Alaska (although they've contacted him at least three times in the last half of a week).

Me--the usual. Feeding people, cleaning up after people, washing their clothing, feeding them again, buying food to feed them, and trying to entertain them as well.

EE--has the big kindergarten round-up tomorrow night where we go with her and she gets to meet the teachers and see the classrooms. She is excited, but isn't so sure she is ready to give up naps and playtime to go to kindergarten 5 days a week for 8 hrs a day. She is ready to turn 5 because apparently "being four is too hard". I told her being 5 ain't no picnic, either. ;) Her favorite past time is shedding clothing and donning a bathing suit instead. That has been this week's favorite thing to do.

LC--she gets to tag along with mom while EE is at preschool. So far this week we've been to the library twice, Target, the grocery store, and the mall. She loves to shop. I would too if I could sit in a cart and eat snacks and my mom buys me cool Ariel socks and puts Smarties in my pocket to try and keep me occupied. She's also been busy this week with her alternate personas: a princess, a mermaid, a kitty, a baby, and a mom. Today the kitty (pretend) had the hiccups (real) in the grocery store (real).

Exciting, eh? All the while its like 40 degrees out still (which would be 20 freaking degrees below normal) and we are going crazy waiting for it to warm up around here. See why Alaska isn't enticing at all? Florida, maybe. Texas, possibly. But I'll put up with it and will never complain, ever again, if we get to stay. ;)

Monday, April 7, 2008


Counting the comments I've had in the past week, I am happy to say I will be donating 30 books to Connor's Books! :) Hopefully I can round up even more than that. Thanks to all my commentors! Feel free to stick around and comment even more. It does make you feel loved when you get comments. ;)

Stink Bomb

I apologize for bringing up such matters here, but it really does warrant a post, or at least a brief mention.

LC STINKS. Horribly. Or I should say her diapers (of the solid sort) stink. How can something so small and adorable create such a stench? My only theory is her diet--since she doesn't have milk products, she drinks soy milk. This has to be the offender because otherwise she pretty much eats the same things we do.

That girl clears a room, and you can smell her from miles away. And the stink lingers, no matter how fast you change her. I've actually almost been banned from stores because of her. My friend runs a local store and we would visit her quite often (which we can't do anymore since we moved, sniff, sniff). Anyway, one day LC did her deed in the store and we didn't quite change her immediately. My friend, R, had a customer after we left complain about the smell. From then on, we would change her immediately and throw the offending diaper outside in the trash. And R would keep candles around to light if we did have an episode.

We are working hard at convincing her she should at least try to go on the potty. So far we don't have her convinced. I think she secretly gets a laugh out of seeing us all gag and wretch when she does her thing. Little stinker. ;)

Sunday, April 6, 2008

Mind Like a Steel Trap

EE has a great memory and is at that age where her mind is like a sponge that soaks up everything she sees and hears. She is forever going around saying little quotes from movies/tv shows/commercials and we have to ask "Where did you hear that?"

Case in point: We were sitting at the supper table last night eating. EE lets out a small burp and then proclaims, "That's the sign that the tank is full!" After dh and I gave each other a look like "that is your child", we had to ask where that was from. I guess that is what that loveable, orange cat who loves lasagnae says after eating a full meal--we had just checked out Garfield, The Movie from the library. So there you go.

EE also doesn't forget much, although sometimes mommy would like her to. While we were traveling to the IL's over Easter she says, "Remember the one time we came here and mom dropped the DVD player on the driveway and a piece of it broke?" Is this important for some reason? Yes, I remember--let's not bring it up again. Sometimes I use her memory to my advantage, because mommy doesn't always remember things too well. I guess I should've told her to remind me she was supposed to take a Beanie Baby to preschool on Friday to help act out Noah's ark. I forgot, bad mommy.

EE also loves to listen to music, especially before going to bed/naptime. She spontaneously sang "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" when she was 3 because she had been listening to Raffi. Right now she is singing songs from "Free To Be You and Me" Anyone else remember this record/movie? I know we watched it in school when I was in about the 4th grade. I just pulled a few up on YouTube for EE to watch; of course she was singing along.

Already she has learned to use her memory selectively. If she gets in trouble for something we told her not to do and we ask what we told her, she usually tries to play innocent and says "I forgot". Yeah right, sister, try again.

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Smart and Gullible

Those may be the new nicknames for my kids. At the moment EE is "Smart" and LC is "Gullible", although at anytime roles may be reversed.

This morning LC and I were hanging out downstairs waiting for the rest of the house to wake up, since LC decided 7am on Saturday morning would be a great wake-up time. EE comes down about two hrs later and as soon as she gets downstairs she asks me to go upstairs and get her slippers. Um, no. You were just up there and if your precious little tootsies are cold, go get them yourself. It wasn't because I was busy reading blogs or IM'ing on the computer . . . really. We just prefer to teach self-sufficiency around here.

So after asking me a few times and getting the same reply, she goes to hit-up her little sister who is happily playing in Little People Land (you should see the set-up they have going at the moment--house, school, playground, barn, zoo, airport, and even an ark for that 100 year flood; but I digress). I hear EE slyly ask LC to go up and get her slippers, and LC happily obliges with an "Okay, I'll be right back, you stay here". I wasn't too happy with EE exploiting her poor inocent sister like that. Last night she did a similar thing, all while whispering lovingly into LC's ear and stroking her hair. What a manipulator!

But honestly, what do we do as parents? ;) We ask our children to help do deeds we may not want to do. The girls fight over who gets dh his slippers most evenings (maybe we should get a dog, aren't they supposed to do that?). I recruit both girls to help do things like unload the dishwasher, put clothes in the dryer, and put groceries away.

And I guess it is a God-given right as an older sibling to order your younger sister around. Just ask my younger sister, who got it from two of us. I can still make her do things for me like check out Old Navy for something I'm looking for or make my kids' birthday invitations. But hopefully now I reciprocate just as much as I demand; its called sisterly love. ;)

Friday, April 4, 2008

When Nature Calls

No, this post is not about potty training or bad Jim Carey movies (ala "Ace Ventura: Pet Detective"). It is about the real nature we experienced just outside our window tonight during supper. We saw no less than:

4 deer (pretty far away; we needed binoculars to see them well)
3 Canadian geese
2 red-winged blackbirds
1 kill deer (its a bird, google it if you need to)

Pretty cool, huh? We live on the city limits and our backyard backs up to a cornfield. We also drive by horses on a weekly basis--they are actually closer to town than we are. My girls may be city kids but they get to experience a lot of farm and wildlife stuff around here.

Girls Night Out

Or as Miley Cyrus would say, GNO. (Yes, I admit I actually listen to Miley thanks to EE) ;)

Last night I went out for a fun supper with some new friends. There is a neighborhood group of women who walks one night a week (when the temperature decides to get above 50-60 degrees) and goes out for supper once a month. I was invited to go out last month, but it was the same week EE was sick, my birthday, and dh losing his job so not a great time. But I was able to go this month and had a great time. We went to a Japanese steakhouse and did the whole hibatchi grill thing.

I think any adult woman will tell you how hard it is to make friends, especially when you are new to the 'hood. Thankfully we are in a wonderful neighborhood, and having kids helps, too (I knew having kids was good for more than just the tax break, but sometimes its hard to remember why!). The first mom I met through preschool, and the circle has just widened from there. Somehow I'm finding connections with many of the women--one used to live in the same town as we did before we moved and two others lived down the street from me in college. (kdotp--they were AChiO's and one of them worked with your Red Headed Hubbie at RC and remembered him). Anyway, it seems like a great group of moms to find and I'm so excited. So now we REALLY CAN'T MOVE!!! Got that, Powers that Be? We love it here and there HAS to be a great job just waiting for the right person (aka dh) to come along. Please, please, please, pretty please?

Speaking of dh, he was a superstar last night and took over parenting duties. He even gave the girls a bath and dried their hair with the hair dryer (I don't think dh has ever used one himself--I was impressed). One was sleeping by the time I got home, and the other had to give me a quick "good night" and was off to bed without a hitch. I guess I can go out more often! I did make supper before we left, since EE was a little worried about that part. "Someone needs to feed us, Daddy doesn't know how to cook!"

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Love/Hate Relationship

I have a love/hate relationship with a certain clothing store. For privacy purposes, we'll call the store Mold Davy (which may or may not happen to sound like above mentioned store). I had some birthday money burning a hole in my pocket, so I decided to do some online shopping. Things were on sale, I had a coupon and a free shipping code so I was stoked. I picked out some items that I thought would create a cute spring wardrobe and patiently waited for UPS to deliver my much-anticipated package.

So I got my package last night and had to immediately check out my new stuff. Remember how I said I was getting more green? I was thinking it would be a pretty, bright light lime green. The two things I got were a bright primary 4-H green. Belive me, I was in 4-H for many a year and remember fondly the shade of green we were forced to wear. Once I had to wear it every day for a week when I worked at the state fair. But I digress. I no longer have to wear that shade of green and prefer not to; that was NOT the shade depicted on the website. And you could not tell by their pretty little picture that the cute short-sleeved sweatshirt I bought (in the 4-H green color) has a white plastic zipper. Huh? Is that supposed to be "cool" now?

So out of the things I ordered, almost half of it is going back. Including the lounge pants that look oh-so-comfy but are transluscent enough and clingy enough to show all the cellulite on my behind and notify any on-looker as to what undergarments I have on. I want to be comfy, people, not worried that everyone in my house will see my ass fat and polka dot underwear.

What a pain in the ass to return the stuff (sorry, I guess I seem obsessed with my ass today). I either send it back, get charged shipping, and am out 1/2 my spring wardrobe; or I spend just as much in gas as I would in shipping and pray that an actual store has something I would want to wear.

As long as I'm ranting, let's talk about another love/hate relationship. That would be with a particular brand of appliance. This brand of appliance's name happens to be two letters long, and its not LG (although the first letter is G--I'll let you guess the second letter). When we moved into our house the builder had already put in all the appliances with the exception of a fridge. The appliances looked all shiny and new and you think "Great, I have new appliances and don't have to worry about them not working!". Ha, ha, that's funny.

We bought a new fridge to match our other appliances (both by brand and by finish) to the tune of $2K. A little excessive, we know, but we thought it would be the perfect fridge. Again--ha, ha. Before we had the thing a month, the ice maker quit working. When you are used to having ice on demand, that can be a little annoying. So we call the appliance company, and their call their repair man. Two months later we have a new ice maker. As the service guy is ordering a new one he says "I just replaced one of these last week". Would'be been good to know about a month ago. As he's replacing the part two months later (it was back ordered) he says, "I just got a call about one of these again last week". Great.

Let's see, that's just the beginning. My oven likes to lose temperature and now the door of the microwave doesn't open without using two hands. Its all under warranty, but there's something about 3 brand new appliances "breaking" within 4 months of use that's a little dis concerning. We only have 8 months left on their 1 year warranty, so if anything else is going to go--do it now. The over-priced extended warranty said appliance company just sent me is sounding pretty good right now--I see why they send it out. "Our appliances are crap, so pay more money because you know they will be breaking once the warranty is done. Better extend that NOW!" I loving having appliances around that wash my dishes, heat my food, and keep my drinks full of ice but its the "not working" part that I hate.

Now, comment away--I want to donate more books! :)

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

No Foolin'

I had a great post for April Fool's all planned, but then I came and read all the comments from yesterday and decided its not time for jokes yet. I would still love to get more comments for CDH awareness and Connor's Books. For 2.5 years I've wanted to do something "big" for CDH, and although this is just one small step, I actually feel like I'm doing something. So far we have 13 books here, and I know Jenn's rustled up a few more than me (not that its a contest or anything, lol).

Just so you know, my great April Fool's post would've involved a pregnancy, a new puppy, and a move to Alaska. Would you have believed any of it? Didn't think so. Man, I stink at April Fool's. Dh did get an e-mail from a recruiter based out of Alaska, but that one went into the "absolute last options possible" pile (aka The Trash).

EE really wants to fool someone today. She has come up with a couple jokes, one of them involves setting the clocks ahead so people think they've overslept. I guess the joke is on her because it is 8:45 am and she isn't even up yet. I do think it was a good idea coming from a 5 year old, though.

Wanna hear something that's not a joke? On 12-8-98 we paid .859 cents for a gallon of gas. That is EIGHTY-SIX cents, people! By June of 1999 it was .999 cents a gallon, still under $1.00. Fifteen dollars to fill up the vehicle. Oh, and I see we had a coupon for 75 cents off, so the total was $14.25.

I bet you are thinking, "Wow, that woman has an amazing memory!" Actually, that woman has an anal husband who keeps every credit card receipt dating back to 1997 (when we were married). He decided 8 years of credit card receipts were sufficient, so he spent 4 hrs yesterday shredding old statements and receipts. It was a trip down memory lane, seeing our honeymoon cruise on the credit card statement and all the purchases we made while on our cruise. And we also saw how before we had kids we actually went out to eat--at real restaurants! We were living in the Twin Cities at the time and there were plenty to choose from. Other intersting notes from the Great Shred of 2008 were that prices for pop (that's what we call it here, don't make fun of me) haven't gone up all that much--we used to buy 24 packs for $4.99 on sale. You can still get pop for that around here if you hit the right sales. And the vacuum that dh bought as a bachelor in 1996 at WalMart for $66 lasted us 10 years. That cost us an average of $6.60 a year to operate; not too shabby for somewhat clean floors from a crappy cheap vacuum.

Now comment away and make me donate some more books! :)