Annoying People

Right now I'm reading a non-fiction book called "The Woman Who is Always Tan and Has a Flat Stomach and Other Annoying People" by Lauren Allison and Lisa Perry. It is a quick "fluff" read but makes some funny points. The chapters are descriptions of annoying people they've come across in their lives. Examples:

The nutrition mom who needs to be resuscitated after finding out you fed her child a hot dog

The mom who made a scrapbook so large she could only get it downstairs by hiring professional piano movers

The couple who write the holiday letter telling you how their Little Timmy came up with an alternative to fossil fuels

The althletic mom who is lifting weights every day at ten am while I am gaining weight every day at 10 am

We've all come across some of these same annoying people in our lives. I have some of my own annoyances:

SB's--this would be short for skinny bitches. I tend to make friends with skinny people. I don't know if I think I will become skinny just by being around them or I have some sick desire to always be the "fat" friend. Most of them can't help being skinny, that's just they way they are and they don't try too hard at it. One of my friends hardly ever exercises and is still skinny (you know who you are, I love you anyway). Then I have a friend who has to tell you how skinny she is, how much weight she has lost, how many times she's been to the gym, how many miles she's run, etc etc. Yeah, we get it. Now shut up.

Mom's whose children can do anything. You mostly run across these moms on public forums where no one can really find out if your child is super smart or not. I was just reading a thread on a forum for moms with children born in August of 2005 (like LC). One mom was looking for a puzzle to work on the lower case alphabet, which is fine. But some of the replies were like, "Oh little Susie Q has known all her upper and lower case letters in English and in French for a year now. She can identify them and say what sound they make. After nap time we work on writing sonnets and for fun at supper we conjugate verbs. Our favorite are irregular verbs, but she knows them all. For her second birthday she read out loud from "War and Peace" and we are now working on "Anna Korrinina". Really, people. I mean we do say our ABC's with LC and she is interested in pointing out letters. Guess what? That's what two-year olds should be doing.

One type of annoying people are the complainers. Whatever it is going on in their lives, it is a major deal--even if it's an overdue library book or an broken fingernail. And I am always kind enough to listen to them and nod in agreeement all the while thinking "I wish my problems were that easy". I had a friend who complained through her whole pregnancy. First it was they didn't want to be pregnant (well they did, just maybe not that very minute--the next minute would've been better for them). Then is was all the aches and pains and "oh I'm SOO huge" (not). Then when the baby was born by c-section he had some fluid on his lungs so had to spend some time under the O2 tent. Mom wasn't able to hold the baby for 8 hrs or so. I stopped by her house while she was still in the hospital and talked to her MIL for a little bit. MIL said "Now we know what you went through". Yeah. Having a baby under oxygen for 8 hours and be otherwise healthy is exactly like having a baby born not breathing due to a life-threatening birth defect, having to be sent to a hospital 2 hrs away, being on ventilator support for two weeks, major surgery, 6 weeks in the hospital, and multiple follow-ups with specialists after that. The kicker was in the Christmas letter when they said "Baby Boy had a rough start but is doing great now". Rough my ass.

Other annoying people are the people who think they are experts in everything and their way is best. Again, you run across these people in public forums--you can say almost anything and people will believe you. There is one poster on a board for hunting bargains that drives me insane. She can recommend the perfect wine, tell you how to re-decorate, is an expert about home births, her child has food allergies so she knows everything about those--the list goes on and on. She is one of those eye-roll posters who when I see her screen name I just roll my eyes, yet somehow just have to click to see what she is filling us full of next.

My last annoying type of people are those who blog for show. I am thinking of one in particular (not anyone you've probably come across). I haven't been blogging for all that long, but my entries are just the everyday stuff that is happening in our lives. She claims she isn't a "mommy blogger" yet talks about her 4 kids. She has a hobby blog, a product review blog, and who knows what else blog. She is always having contests and giving out "buttons". Do I still read it? Yes, to constantly remind myself to keep it real here.